When I was second grade
of Junior High School, my family and I went to Bali. We where there for three
dayss. I had many impressive experience during the vacation.
first day, we
visited kuta Beach in the morning. We
saw the beautiful sunrise together. It was a great scenery. Then we checked in
to the hotel.
second day, we enjoyed
the day on Nusa Dua Beach. We played so many water sport such as banana boat,
jetsky, speedboat, etc.
the last day, we went to
sukowati market for shopping. That was my lovely time. I bought some Bali
T-shirt and souvenir.
In the evening we had to
check out from the hotel. We went back home to Bekasi. So the beautiful holiday
experience in Bali unforget.



First word using capital. “First”, “Second”, “Last day”
ReplyDeleteKuta must capital letter
ReplyDeleteList of idea was too little
ReplyDeleteTidak ada tanda atau ciri khas bahwa itu sebuah paragraf
ReplyDeleteClosing sentence make readers not understand
ReplyDeleteClosing sentence make readers not understand
ReplyDeleteClosing sentence make readers not understand
ReplyDeleteClosing sentence make readers not understand
ReplyDeleteClosing sentence make readers not understand
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ReplyDeleteFirst word using capital. “First”, “Second”, “Last day”
ReplyDeleteTidak ada tanda atau ciri khas bahwa itu sebuah paragraf
ReplyDeleteKuta must capital letter
ReplyDeletesentences not coherence
ReplyDeletesport ---> sports, cause the word "many" before
ReplyDeleteThere is typo word "dayss"
ReplyDeletekalimat terlalu simple dan little
ReplyDeleteGive some identification or description every time you are attach some picture or table
ReplyDeleteAtur paragraf se rapih mungkin
ReplyDeletewe have to attach connected sentence between picture
ReplyDelete