LIST (IDEAS)
- Dufan
- Family
- Car
- Ancol
- Kora-kora
- house
ORGANIZING
- I went to Dufan
- My family arrived to home
- My father drove car
- we went to Ancol
- we played kora-kora
- we went from home
WRITING
Last week I went to Dufan with my family. My father drove a car. My father prepare the car possession my neighbor. My mother prepared food for breakfast and some snack for us. And my brother and I packed some clothes we left the house at seven o’clock, we arrived on ancol. And Then, we went to dufan.
In dufan, First, we playing kora-kora,
kora-kora is Very Fantastic, Funny, etc. Next, I and My Brother playing in
Hysteria. This is game very..very.. funny. We very happy played Hysteria.
At Twelve , My family lunch in park on
Ancol. After lunch, we and my family prepared back to home. At 14.00 o’clock.
My family arrived to home.
My holiday is very funny. I hopeI can go there again.
Change word “We playing”. It isn’t past tense
ReplyDeleteThis is --> that’s game
ReplyDelete“And” in front of please remove
ReplyDeleteAt home is correct
ReplyDeleteThere are some unclear sentences
ReplyDeleteNo specific subject
ReplyDeleteOk students. Almost all comments are right. For Farella writing, there are many confusing sentences. It must be revised take a look at my following correction of the text. There are some grammatical errors. Pay attention to the conjunction farella. For the question marks, it shows that I don’t really understand what did you mean at those sentences
ReplyDeleteOk Mrs. Ismia and all my friends, Thank you for the corrections.
ReplyDelete